8th CHAPTER
Then we had sand, which was persistent and superfine. We had to cover everything otherwise we would have had problems with the machineries; i.e. television, DVD-Player, Computer, etc. If you were so lazy to forget to dust (sand…) then you would have been punished. Dusting (i.e. sanding) was a full-time job. It would have been great to have had a cleaning woman. Of course there are women who love to clean. For me it was not really “the job”. Before I went to Libya, I had told the fortune to Kerima, Salah’s sister. I told her she would have another baby; her third one. I also told that her husband would be promoted and finally they would have some more money. It all came true. She was pregnant, her husband had been promoted and because of his promotion, they were able to even go shopping at much better places than before. The government even gave them more good opportunities. (He was working for the Libyan Police Dept.). Government employees had special opportunities: cheaper cars, phone costs, better shopping places, etc…
Mostly I felt like an idiot making mistakes all the time, regarding conventions, customs and traditions. Those were entirely different than in western countries. You were not even allowed to clean the house in front of the main gate, i.e. on the streets. Neither with the broom nor with the water hose. It would make a very bad impression and my husband was constantly yelling at me. That day I was crying my eyes out because I only told his best friend Khaled that he was en route with another friend of his and that he would be late. I was standing in the street in front of the main gate and talking to him while he was sitting in his car. By doing this, I would be behaving like a prostitute. WOW I had returned to the medieval times!!!
While I was pregnant with Athana, Salah was behaving very aggressively. Every time I then asked him gently whether he wanted to be given the Oscar with his performance. At that time he did not become more aggressive, i.e. those were the smooth times, no, he was compunctious and apologized. He was an incredible macho. Especially when having put himself under stress. At that time life was really stressful and not easy at all! I then did not have any choice, I had to do all by myself: the household, repairs in the house, unpacking things fm our move (i.e. putting boxes aside, looking in and putting them back. Yes it was not a real good idea…)
You won’t believe it but in Switzerland he did not have any job and he made the „whole household“, washing, cleaning, cooking, baking, anything you name it, ironing, even washing the curtains and shopping. My t-shirts were always ironed. He was a master. The neighbours living next door to our flat, were absolutely thrilled and once the lady told me that she was so impressed how great my husband was. Unbelievable how he had changed! And tiring, too, when I had to do all, did not really sleep well with all that heartburns and and and. You know what I mean…
Once he came home later in the afternoon. I did not feel well and was therefore unable to eat anything. It was abt 14:00 hrs in the afternoon. He expected me to have cooked. I could not. Wow, that swear word repertoire was awesome! One day his mom had cooked and the table had not been put, because I also had other things to do in the household. He then again used his repertoire to make me look small. You won’t believe it but I would have wished to kill him, like in the movie Mr. & Mrs. Smith. (that is one of my favorite, not because of the killing, because of the human psyche). I was so furious. Unfortunately he worked too much, at least it looked like it. If I knew the truth, I would have left him earlier… So during the mornings he was such a killjoy that I would have preferred to throw him in a corner that frog. In Switzerland he was a prince, now he had completely reversed… He actually did not want to be such a puke. That morning he said: you have become so softly, not a bad word anymore and your patience has increased.
You won’t believe I knew that my patience was dead anyway. I would have loved to throw my words into his face. Yet, WHY? It did not make sense. I wished I could have returned to Switzerland many times then. Yet, also what for? I had taken a decision and till today I have taken decisions for good and did not really like to go back on them. It was a question of persistence. I had to learn this lesson once and for all.