In Switzerland I had another bad experience with my brother’s wife. My parents had their 40th anniversary and we were feasting in a 2 star (Guide Michelin high-class) restaurant. She cut me dead during the whole late lunch. I think it might have been possible because I had been pregnant. She was so low-down that her son was trying to change my ideas and only talked to me. Her daughter also felt very ashamed and did not speak at all during the whole meal. When Ragno asked me whether he might spend some days in Libya with my husband and me, I said: you are not yet of age, so you will have to ask your parents for permission. Obviously Susann had been listening the whole time what we had been talking abt. She turned very nasty and said snippily: Ragno does not have to ask all and everything anymore, he can also decide abt going there alone. Ragno felt very ashamed abt that answer yet played act as if he had not heard it and quickly changed the subject. Many times Susann had been like that; i.e. totally off-key, yet that day she was absolutely outrageous! Whatever it had not been the first time. Was it her education – NO, it was not – yet I only found out in 2007 when my grand-mother had died. Long time, right?
When I had gone back to Tripoli I wrote two letters, one for my brother and one for her. Luckily I had given both to my parents and to Natalia. I asked them to read them. Anyway, as well as Natalia and my parents were both very shocked and told me to never send them at all. Natalia said bluntly, that Susann was not playing in my league and she would have never understood what was meant. So it would not make any sense to send her such a letter…
Both letters are below:

Dear Ivan written on 12/30/2002

I have been thinking for a long time what happened on Sunday December 15, 2002 . It was my daughter. She does not like people to act unnaturally. Where ever it comes fm: sense of duty or other reasons.
Athana wants to be with honest people, and people who are who they are. I have been joining that game for many years actually since you and Susann have gotten married. I have been there even facing a wall when trying to get closer to your wife. With other words: Susann NEVER liked me. We never got warm. Please trust me I have tried everything to fill that gap but was not successful. She can stand to it. I think all that happened because she thought it was her duty to be nice with me (at least that is what I felt). Perhaps she thought he had to because I belong to your family. Actually when you look closer at it, it is a lie! Personally I think it would be better if she said bluntly: I do not like Thora. I do not care what you or our children think or do. I do not wish to see her anymore. That is at least an honest statement and I will not be upset abt it. If there is no other way then so be it. Mom and dad have never forced us to do anything we did not like. On the opposite, they have always left us our free will. So Susann is welcome to hate me. She does not like Salah either. Has never liked him. It may bet hat the media has been talking badly abt the Arab people, but Salah is not even an Arab, he is a Berber, yet that is not important anymore. But he owns something very special: a big heart and he can stand to his mistakes (wow, when I read this – I must truly have been insane to think that positively abt my husband – does not matter – it shows at least that I was still in love with him). He does not even lie when he made a mistake. None of my ex-boyfriends has ever been like that, you can bet on that. With this he is a very sensible person and that has nothing to do with race or religion. As long as your kids are free to think what they want; re: us then all is ok. Should you ever try to tell them lies, then – and you can trust me – then God will interfere. And it will come back to you – at least three fold! I know what I am writing abt. I am also aware that I am not a bad human being and have proven that more than once. When you had your crisis during your marriage I stood to your wife. You surely remember how I told you to get off! I am still like that. I do not hold a grudge against anyone. Not even against Fredy who really had been breaking nearly everything he could. Yet all human beings can only do the way they are. There is nothing more nor less. We can put ornaments around or on it; it will always remain the same. If you and Susan have the opinion that we are the last humans on earth then so be it – I do respect your opinion. Neither Salah nor I do think the same abt you two nor abt your children! We all are free and do have the rights of speech and opinion. If she hates us and she feels good then it is better like that. Whatever there is: our doors are not locked. Should you wish to talk – you are welcome. Should you think that all that does not make sense then you are welcome as well, because then you have freed yourselves fm us. You should take an easy decision and stand to your family! Salah and I are not important to your family life; only you, Susann and your kids are. So no regrets! We respect and tolerate your opinon, yet we are also aware that not all can do like that. Therefore we are neither upset nor astonished abt those facts. There is no sense to change other people. Practically every day I have to listen to sentences like: wow – you married one like: not without my daughter? Even the gays I have been with had turned against me. Only David, the Jew, was the only one who was with us! Imagine! A Jew who is best friend with a “so called Arab”. He would have had reasons enough to hate Salah, but he is like – like our/my brother! That means Christmas to me! We are all brothers and sisters – under our skin we all look the same… What am I telling you here? You know all that!
So please do us a favor, should you not wish to see us anymore, please do inform mom and dad. Please also let them know the truth, because they have known that there was going on sth for a long time. They never mix in our private lives. Yet it would only be fair if you told them! Thank you very much! We then will be able to avoid the both of you and that all spares a lot of negative feelings and maybe even arguments to all of us.
All the best and all the success to your future life!
BTW: wishing: I always wished for the best for all of us; for ex. Your wife’s Christmas bazaar. She was very successful, wasn’t she? And, as for mom and dad: They were longing to have a little kitten, remember? They now have one. Momo was there within a week! You see? Wishing is more powerful than: I want to… SMILE
BTW 2: you do not have to expect the good things fm those ones you wished well; it could be that you will get it back fm someone else… Well that was all “mustard” in addition (my brother always called me Mustardy – cause I was the one who always or mostly added my comments to everything when small, now it is either my daughter or my son – lol – yet mostly my dad…) – yet Ivan, you see things the way you understand them best!
TAKE CARE!

Thora

PS: I have not understood your daughter Soraya for a long time. Salah has always tried to explain that she is kind of shy. Now I have understood. Illumination has taken place… Not only during Christmas – all the time… SMILE
PPS: No, I a not an angel… And I am far fm judging other people – yet honesty is vital regarding that matter – at least after so many years…