I wanted to work again. It was so boring at home; but Mr. Husband did not share my opinion. He wanted me to deliver firstly. Ok. He did not use the same wording as I do… Surely nobody would hire me with such a belly… Was Switzerland differently? Never… Or would they wait for me for another three months? Wow he was very mean. But he was right
After having cried (as usual) because of the justified and not justified notes aside I finally calmed down. Not very wisely my husband had put on the same TV-programme again at 6 o’clock in the morning, again that was awfully nice… then he finally found out (during a TV (commercial) break – yes, you are all correct, the TV WAS NOT ON…) that he had not been very sensitive and apologized after abt 5 minutes. You got up for me, prepared breakfast and you have been preparing all for me for today I am such an **hole… I am very sorry!
I had him greeting his fellow colleague and his wife. Because I was so insensitive to not let her into our kitchen, she was in her first 3 months and our kitchen was very slippery because of the “tiles” on the floor. So she did not understand why because she wanted to help me cleaning… (Yet I had to admit; I had become a mom…) Even I had sometimes a problem with leather soles (sohlen) in there. Many times I had been lucky. Whatever. She had been upset and I anyway did spoil that whole evening (once again…). She had been ready to teach Arabic and I would have taught her English. That would have been a change to my so very “interesting” life there… Unfortunately my husband had made the case much bigger than it was so (later on I found out that he wanted me to stay at home and not have any contacts to anyone at all – because of his jealousy…) So my Arabic language standard was still on a very poor level and would not approve… Why? It had anyway been my fault because I had spoiled it. Had done too many things the wrong way and had missed “the Libyan way”… Whatever I would have taught her some programs of the computer, too – but it had been the way it had been… Salah was the kind of pessimist. I was not tired of it then. That would come later on. The other funny thing was that I had a name which was actually blasphemy so he was never using my real name in public. He called me the way his mom called me: Nura (= the light).
Thora (in German language, only) was the Jewish Bible. I had made the biggest mistake ever and told them my real name. Luckily their English standard was not up to date so he had been able to prevent the biggest mistake ever by deviating the common conversation to other things. Yet he had been charming in telling me that I was the biggest catastrophe he had ever met in his life. Where had my manners gone? I better kept my mouth shut then I would not do anything wrongly, anymore… If you ever talk abt the Jews again, with our political situation, Iraq and so forth and whatsoever then he had to leave that country again. And what should we do in Switzerland? Or in another country? No job for him… etc. If I finally had understood or what????? Wow he had really been upset, I had not seen him in a state like that for a long time! Yes, I had gotten the point very well and I would never do such a thing anymore (only other mistakes…) Unfortunately I had still remained naïve as usual yet that is the way I am… Let us take the “official version” out of the “name books” for babies and kids: They say Thora is fm the north and is fm Thor the Nordic God. That was neutral – Sweden and Norway are, too. So all is fine and great and the sun is shining, too…
Puma
Your ex-husband sounds very jealous, extremely insecure and major controlling! Men with these issues always want to keep their wives isolated because, they fear they may lose some kind of control over them.
You were learning the customs, and I think everyone understands what that is like (even if they have never had to go through it)...so they are very patient, understanding, and of course forgiving....and would never hold it against you. At least that's how I am and everyone I've ever met, and for those not accepting... that's their problem, and you don't need them in your life anyway. So, I can see exactly how he would blow things way out of proportion (in front of you...after your company is gone) to make you feel guilty, worthless, ect., just so he could keep you away from other people...out of his own irrational fear. (He makes me soooo mad!
)
Again, you're are such a strong and really sweet woman (I hate you had to have these experience, but I know...you wouldn't have the wonderful life you have now if it weren't for those experiences.
Thanks for sharing, and I'm looking forward to reading the next chapters you have
posted.
I can't wait for the birth of your first child!
1SO SWEET - BB
2THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
Oh, the jealousy! At least the baby was coming soon
3THANK YOU SOFI!!!!
4yes, very soon - think we may hit it next Sunday...
Because we have finished 2002...
Wow.... you've gone through so much.
5Thank you for your compassion, TD - with things like that we grow - it was worth it!
too!
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