Oh yes, and the parcel fm my parents had not arrived either… No idea whether it had been the war or whether someone else had found it nice and kept it. Could be… Next time I would tell my parents – write OLD clothes and pls never ever write more than 50 Swiss Franks on it… However c’est la vie…
I did not count on it anymore – too many days had passed; i.e. more than a month. Adel Shumena went to the post office every day – I nagged on Salah to invite Adel… It would be the least.
***
Maybe one of you might remember the bulb which went one of those days. Salah had still not replaced it. After having visited the bulb – i.e. the place where it once had been – i felt somehow illuminated, despite of the darkness in the bathroom… So i went to the storage room and swept it. I was unable to watch that mess in there. I presume that must have been the “days” of our monthly “PMS”. So it was still there… Whenever i had PMS i felt like cleaning… and of course the chocolat mood. Wished to go to the kitchen and make some hot chocolate with BLACK one of course – yet at that time there was no black one on the market – the Libyans anyway loved milk chocolate better than the black one… Salah was working – had meetings and a check-up the next day for renewal of license in Libya – that is different in EVERY country. I did not believe he would make it so fast… And, of course and as usual I was right – it took him another four years – i.e. till 2007 till he finally was flying again…
The only thing I was tired of was to live on 10 Dinars a day (10 a day is good, that was still “heaven” compared to what was to come…)- We went shopping if you can call that shopping we had to cut down the list on 1/3 – i.e. 2/3 we had to delete… So, it has never been Salah forgetting sth – he just had no other choice than cancelling things on the list because of lack of money. I felt so bad I never felt in years. I had always been independent and now that… There were still 20 Swiss Franks fixed on the white board… He never even touched them… Maybe it was like that because he felt that Madame was soon to arrive…
The day before I went to the internet – she was absolutely quiet – as if she was surfing, too. Afterwards I had trouble to get up – i.e. out of the office chair – too soft… Of course all pregnant women had trouble to either get up or sit down, sleep etc.
Sometimes I had thoughts like: should I remain in the bathroom – cause I anyway had to leave water too often
Whenever I was washing dishes or had only the water running I felt like oh – BATHROOM… But it was not even half a cup… Sometimes there were only 3 drops – and for this I was getting up??? Well – when babies are working out – i.e. going for sit-ups in the belly… There we run.
Well in the pregnancy book it was written – that the energy level was going up then down etc… Yes true, sometimes I felt like going for all (even like cut down a tree ) - then I was lying low, drained and felt more dead than alive …
Then it was written: do not clean keep your energy for the labor. So I should go for saving here as well? Of course… What else? I thought if i did not do the chores, who else? I did not care what was written in there because who would if I did not take care of that… And besides – what would chores do to us? Kill us? No, we practically grew up with it – that was the same with men; they grow beards all alone I even thought – hey great – that is gym – so get some more
***
The whole family was happy abt the crib. Even Amal – she had been with us for the first time ever, was smiling.
Actually Amal was the one I liked mostly. All thought she took her “mother’s life” too easy, she has 5. Yet I knew that it was not true. Even my husband thought that she was not “good enough” in educating the kids properly. I thought that this was “mish dachlik” (that is not your business). Oh – I would have better kept quiet – yet you know me, cannot – am who I am… However I just said: do it better with our daughter. Khallas (over and out).
My personal opinion was that Amal did the best she could in that family with one husband who never really worked at a work place for more than 2 or 3 months and she was a teacher so she went to work at a public school for starvation wages – i.e. for nothing really… At least she was tough but kind-hearted – she was fair and honest (very rare in Libya – we will get to that later) and even when it came to people passing by at her house – she always shared with all – yet the cookies fm my dad – she ate some herself and I think SHE DESERVED IT REALLY! Her kitchen I liked – she cooked a simple cuisine but it was tasty and nice. In addition to her cooking – her house WAS ALWAYS clean – even so she had NO vacuum cleaner and carpets all over the place…
***
Then there was this story with the workers who were always staring at me. The owner of that house came to us personally and excused himself. You can make hell of a noise but if someone was staring at you that was really the worst which could happen. Then it was a disaster…
Then we had all these women telling that it was so bad when a man had to suffer fm a newborn baby – cause his wife would turn away fm him and all the love she once had would be for the baby, only. How stupid! On my opinion this happened when a woman was insecure – she then hang to her baby(ies) instead of sharing comfort time with her husband, too – yet – I was nearly 40 so I could sing all that tunes
***
Regarding supervising and observing babies: Kerima’s baby nearly killed himself i.e. suffocation with a cushion. By God the whole family nearly went nuts! Can you imagine? How dreadful!
***
The same evening we had a quarrel abt his brother Nurheddin – he did not even inform his own mother abt their father – her husband – his sickness became worse and worse. Nurheddin expected his father practically every day to get lost in the city – so actually he should have informed mom firstly – but he did not – all of the family knew but she did not. So I kicked Salah, to tell his brother, the doctor, to do so…
Well doctors anyway have got a different sense of humor… My best friend, David, an oncologist, loved for example the movie – Serial Mom with Kathleen Turner – and when this scene appeared; i.e. her daughter being dumped by her boyfriend – and she went into the men’s room to kill the ex-bf of her daughter – with that poker – which she firstly choose fm that flea market… Wow – after having done the job and something came out – I think it was the kidney – and she nearly fell because she slipped on it – WOW – David nearly died laughing. And the guy who was sitting next to our “cinema gang” went grey and then green and at the end – he of course left - I loved that “leaving” more than the scene but actually I understand David – it was bizarre and at the same time OVER DOING sth. It was actually hilarious. The other doctor I know personally was also a strange guy – he explained when they had all these surgeries on the dead parts of people… I asked him whether he had to vomit – he said: “No.” Then I asked him: “Did you feel sick then?” He said: “No. Actually, you know - I feel hungry…” Well so far so good – I think changing the subject makes more sense – in addition to the coming examination at the gynecologist, cause next day I had another appointment with my gynecologist… It would be March 31, 2003…
***
Here we were: Gynecologist… Because i had very high blood pressure (at least for my „body household“, edemas and also other problems, he said: hospital – cesarean. I had to wait for another day. On April 2, 2003 I gave birth to Athana Naeema – I only felt old – cause 18 days later I would become 40…
***
There was gossip – a lot of gossip – 1. my gynecologist is a professor – not a regular doctor and in addition to that he had studied in the UK – and he received his PhD there… So he was actually a very well educated man – we had the same spiritual level. However – he operated me by himself – normally he had a crew and was just supervising – yet since I was treated like his own daughter, so they did gossip.
2. He gave me his arm to help me getting on the OP-table but I went all alone on it without help mentioning – I can do that and smiled…
And
3. He waited till i woke up and that is also very unusual Actually I was numb – and just asked whispering (cause I was totally exhausted): “what is it?” He only said: “She is a girl and she is as beautiful as her mother…”
He then disappeared and I went back to sleep… - somehow I realized that he was proud and I had that “wow-feeling”.
***
The day after was also a gossip-day for the hospital. Of course I had a catheter and I do not like that at all – so I asked to go to the bathroom and get rid of that stupid thingy… of course that was GETTING up time – tough – when you wobble around and have pudding instead of legs… The sisters helped me – three of them. I did not give up. Abt two hours later, Dr. Mermesh came again and helped me personally to get up. And then walked with me – like a father – up and down the corridor of the hospital…
That was the headline all over the hospital…
I did not give up – I got up alone and went to the bathroom alone the same evening.
***
In addition to that – Dr. Mermesh was right regarding the taste of the Libyan women. Athana obviously was a very beautiful baby to them - maybe because she was so white, so I had a lot of visitors. They all came to see my baby. Brilliant – actually I wished for some relaxation but hello – she was white had only some small hair on her head and looked so shiny that all were so moved by only seeing her. I hoped I was soon to leave that place – but when giving birth by C-Section bravo – at least 5 days…
I was only happy that my mother in law helped me a great deal in EVERYTHING – that was good – cause I felt lost somehow. A career woman with a baby, never had any lessons in babysitting was impatient to the level and now a mother – I could hardly believe that…

Meet the whole family - Athana - her Father and me:

Meet Athana and her father