I was tired; a night with interruptions, 02:00 hrs, 05:00 hrs etc... – milk… That’s how it should be done the first 3 months… So we let it be, something new had been added these past 40 years… My parents had NOT done anything – they had me cried the first 3 nights and then – never again sleepless nights. But the “new” education says: Thy shall not be so brutal… They also explained in “big” letters and in books: there are three different types of sleepers: i.e. the “normal sleepers” they have the exact 24-hrs rhythm – the long sleepers (night owls) – they have “more” than 24 hrs in their blood and the early birds - those have a shorter day… Yes – my parents and I have short days and my bro was the night owl (and still is…) However – Athana is the night owl too – YIKES… this book – first i was still following – then i saw that Athana was NOT by the book at all – she has changed a lot – is maybe still a night owl but – she understood humor very fast – even abstract jokes – this book did not even mention abstract jokes and sorry – till today i know people who will never understand abstract jokes… Just to mention – in that book – which had been put together by scientists and doctors (mainly pediatricians) – you could find all abt nutrition, kinetic senses, playing, screaming, skin, teeth, sleeping and growing – (and lots more). Some things would exactly match. Some children are ahead in getting teeth, some are late. They were recommending to put fingers in the mouth when the kids wanted to suck sth, not the pacifier – well – Ummi had the same opinion as I had: a finger is a medium for bacteria… Best you can have. They grow under the fingernails and just look good (puke). The “best” thing will be that a kid would then put just anything in her/his mouth which looks like a finger – with a dummy this problem would not even occur and you could clean a dummy always so we did both agree on a dummy . She also said: do not take her up all the time – i.e. carry her. Only for burps – if you carry her always, you will be very annoyed… She was SO right! I did not do that but all others did – well she is a cute little sweetheart… but she still wants to be the ape of the family.

Luckily she was a very practical woman and told me bluntly what I was up to – she had to show her own kids how to do and now to me. i.e. bathing, pampering, feeding – etc. The first few weeks – she bathed her – she also explained that babies were very slippery when bathing them and many moms had them just skid out of hands… Really a funny feeling.
After the third bath we discovered a pimple on her buttock. Luckily Nurheddin was in the house. He examined it and did the job with Mufida – it was an abscess a deep one, full of puss – it must have been terrible. I kept out of it – when she cried I felt so bad – so I left her there. Salah nearly threw up when he heard abt it.
Well – Nurheddin had his own problems – he missed his wife and his son. They were both in Poland and he was so homesick – it was terrible. Salah said: “Libya is no country for Nurheddin. Look how old he became: he has got more grey hair than I do – and he is 2 years younger and looks older than I do.” Yes, Salah was right – Nurheddin was just lethargic and had installed himself in front of TV to just pick his coffee or tea and his cigarette and not moving otherwise… His mom nearly went up the wall because her son made her days… He was like a furniture; also eating and drinking like a machine. Well – since Ummi felt for him (he had been working for 2.5 years without any salary!!!) She could not throw him out without money. Salah said laconically: “he could work for a private clinic, but he is no business man.” Oh well… no comment to that one… The leader Mr. G. had promised to fully pay all salaries, increase all of them as well and guarantee that to all who worked in public hospitals. BLA BLA BLA – I would wish to see that one…
Then the big shed arrived; Athana’s skin went off – a natural process after having been born; sure – kids no longer need the same skin as in the belly – wow – she looked awful! Her hair was supposed to fall off as well – (ha, no – it did not – LOL). On April 11, finally her umbilical cord fell off. I was sooooooooooo happy! Salah said: it normally never takes so long! „Stupid“ i countered: “it is waxing moon – all takes longer during waxing moon.“
After having given birth – in Libya – they were talking abt the 40 days. I.e. the kids should be at home and not been taken out during that time – cause these 40 days were critical to a child’s health. Also my doctor (Dr. Prof. Dr. Mustafa) wanted to see me only after those 40 days. BTW: the card I had written to him – he never showed to anyone. He was proud but shy. not even his daughter got to see it. Maybe the compliments were a bit too much for him When he saw me after those 40 days he was complaining to my husband: “you should give her more rests. The others should work – she is doing all fully, right? I can see that.” Sure – I am the type of “laid-back” – never I am not. I cannot look – watch – observe others doing my jobs and i sit there and do nothing? No – not my style.
I also shared the opinion of many doctors and psychiatrists: if I fell back in lethargy myself – I might have depressions again and feel useless – so I avoided this feeling by working heavily…
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Athana having the hiccups – wow – that was terrible – I was unable to do sth and she was screaming. Of course the screaming made it worse. It is only a matter of breathing. I know that because my main hobby is singing. But how to explain a baby: “hey, breathe correctly.“ – all my jobs i ever had – were a piece of cake compared to motherhood… I then had these sinking feelings: I am unworthy, not capable, an idiot – i.e. I was not up to the job, etc. some kind of a helplessness. Whenever I was thinking abt THIS job, i.e. being a mother – I felt like a total greenhorn, a beginner in front of the mountain of “new land”. Well – the bleedings after the operation – they would last 12 days – ha, mine lasted 22. I blamed the moon as well. It had been a fact that recovery after operations during waxing moon lasted much longer than during waning moon. Also milking; if I was really well I had abt 20 ml – well – what can an old cow do? Nothing. no problem. My mom explained to me that even she did not have enough of milk. My husband was unable to help me with my daily jobs. He had medical checks for his renewal of license in Libya and he was also working hard in the bakery. We did still not make a living with it; so I was thinking of going back to work, again.
I had some interviews but nobody wanted to hire me, I was obviously asking for too much. Yet later I heard that it was not too much. They paid foreigners abt 2’000 US$ and gave them free rent and mostly even a car. I was rather stupid. Well – later you are more intelligent and know more, too. Stop thinking the “hue” was crying for me

BTW: that is Mufida - one of her pictures in the year 2000 - the evening gown she made herself! i always compared her to Jasmin - Disney's Aladdin