I was not aware how much i needed the contact to the outside world, yet proved that within two days: my husband said he wanted to go to a city – around 300 km away fm Tripoli – for a day and a night. He only returned after three days and three nights. I nearly went nuts. In my anger – i had given all the food to his family – because i also suffered fm diarrhea – so then – fresh veggies and fruit would just rot… however – when he came back he was VERY upset. The only person who understood me fully, was his mother. She had the same “ras m’sakr” like I had (ras m’sakr = closed head – stubborn head). She had told him where to get off… i.e. that he was not the one to tell me all that- on the opposite – I would have had the right to give him a ticking-off. Oh well, we all change… of course I was only miserable – as usual …
The next day – he started his argument, again – he shouted at me for the same reason he did the day before… so I bushed. Standing him that way – was NO way. I went to the El Chadra Hospital. There i felt more at home. Women fm Asia and Europe were there and understood the complexity of “the European life in Libya”… I talked to Violetta. She is Bulgarian yet speaks an impeccable English. Her kids are both musicians and her daughter lives in Germany. We had a long talk – and I also told her that my husband would surely be VERY upset if he got to know that I was there… Oh yes, she only understood me too well. She said: come here when you need to talk to us, and, of course when one has cabin fever…
Yes, actually I should not “drive around” – I should learn Libyan…
Yet what should I learn? Should I learn abt clothes, cosmetics, shoes? I am sorry – but discussions only abt outer looks? No, I would become more confused if I did that. I love philosophy and deeper subjects – but fashion? Ok – sometimes… finally I had found at least some people I was able to exchange opinions and getting to know other ways in Libya.
Actually Salah was resentful and even offered to bring me there when I felt like that again. Brilliant; it never came to that, anyway… Yet it was a kind of “we understand each other again – situation”.
I also explained his mother in a very primitive Libyan how I felt – i.e. that I needed to see other women fm my continent. She understood me well – and added: “you must feel like in prison.” – she had a point there…

A lot of people asked abt Athana. I did not dare to tell Natalia the truth – she said all along while I was pregnant that Athana would be a funny little girl. At that time I was largely doubting – yet she was right. Athana was funny; when she was two months old she wanted to walk, and whenever we wanted her to sit down – she got up… That also happened to the paediatrician – he took her to get to know whether she could hold her head alone – no – she got up on her feet and he was shocked so terribly that he was only able to say “Mashallah” – means: God bless you. She even tried to walk with 2 months – but of course it did not work – her motor skills did not approve then. I.e. the brain wished – she wished but her body was unable to cope I had bought so many books – regarding all in development abt babies. With Athana I would have been better off to throw them all! She was who she was – and that was not described in books. Only the statement, regarding motor skills, was true.
However – since all books I had failed, I referred to the book abt Crystal children. Maybe that was one adequate solution. Sometimes; and since I had been a career woman all the time, Salah was able to help. He then was empathic and had a sixth sense for Athana. He then knew (when I was overwhelmed) what she wanted. The funniest thing was when she tried to talk – yet what can a child say? Also there her motor skills failed, she then was very upset and cried (heartbreakingly…). But I was proud of her despite of her failures.
Finally and because of Athana I found a way to Kerima’s heart. She is a very shy woman, yet has also the “heart” of a queen and is a bit of a snob… the usual ways of a woman who is very concerned abt the looks – that showed in fashion, nails, cosmetics, shoes and her home. OMG if I was like that I would never have the time to work anymore – I would lack time greatly! Because I would be busy buying stuff for my kids that they look neatly and I would have to go to marriage parties – and therefore need a new wardrobe all the time… I am not that type – I need brain food, too and some challenges… so we did not really have a lot in common; EXCEPT cooking… there she is a master – the only thing she had, was – she always made the same sauce with her Cous Cous, her Rishta (noodles, self made) – all had the same taste… what a pity…

Re: good and bad people: my brother tried to get back to me. His wife fizzled. I was grinning: she wrote a birthday card (normal picture postcard); saying happy birthday and congratulations to your little one (not even a salutation; i.e. dear and name) – then she signed and added: PS: Greetings to Salah. That was really OFF the mark – I thought wow, yet I wrote back by snail-mail also: Many thanks for the picture postcard fm Therwil and best regards – then I signed and then I wrote PS: Salah greets, too
Ivan only wrote – best wishes to us and to our beautiful daughter. I did NOT send any birth notice to him and his wife – because she behaved so badly at the wedding anniversary of my parents. Anyway – she sent another thingy later – a body with a dolphin on it and a self-made card – which was not beautiful at all – even Salah said: OMG – so puke. At least we loved the body that was really a sweet one

Athana had a light fever, tonsillitis and pressure on her tympanum – i.e. ear-drum (doctor’s diagnosis). He was totally against any homespun remedies – so no olive oil and no camomile tea… Yet I always gave her Gripe Water when she had belly problems. I also considered to give her Lapacho Tea when she had reached 6 months. I would make a cure with her; i.e. we both would. It was important for both of us regarding the immune system. She weighed abt 5.22 kilos (11.49 lbs) and with stating that – I noticed that my menstruation was overdue for 10 days… So, God had decided to gift Athana a baby brother – the test had not been done then, yet later on we knew, I was pregnant with Mustafa…