Libya

CHAPTER 100

Iveenia — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 12:16:13 -0700

I did not have the time to write. We were kept on the go always. Ummi had full house – the kids fm Amal and Kerima were there – in total 8. Salah wanted to go to the internet with me and had asked Ummi whether she would take Athana, too. Ummi said of course – bring her on. Then she had 9 kids; crazy…

Since I almost had no mother’s milk ok – almost no was exaggerated but too little would meet the term more adequately – the gossip spread that my milk therefore was poisoned. Since I was a mother and kind of naïve because I never had the chance to raise kids before, I was insecure; which is only natural… of course it must be an old wives’ tale – sometimes I would have loved to scream when hearing such bullsh*t!

Ummi, Mufida and I had discussed my return to career. There was a woman in the neighbourhood who took care of kids. She was a very trustworthy person Ummi said. She also added that we could bring Athana to her and it would only cost us 30 Dinars per month – where in the world would you “only pay” that amount for a nursery? In Switzerland not even 30 Swiss Franks would be enough for 3 hrs true!
I had another appointment with my gynaecologist after the critical 40 days – that was a normal issue – the 40 days referred to the baby – in those 40 days a newborn was not allowed to even stroll in the street with mom in a stroller. It was also an old wives’ tale – YET I thought not so bad abt it. On the opposite – it made sense to me – so I did not argue with anyone. I left it the way it was and adapted.
All were upset of Salah – because I already did the whole chores. Salah had a bakery shop – he made all the shopping and he wanted to go back to flying asap. So it was only fair that I did the chores… He also had little jobs – i.e. extra work – because Adel wanted to build a house for his wife. Yes, Adel was engaged and wanted to get married to Naeema – (Athana’s second name – yet not because of Adel’s future wife – no, because of a very nice nurse at the hospital El Chadra ). Howver – Salah organized the cement for Adel and helped him with men who would help him building.
Adel was a crack when it came to electricity – he could make the whole wiring in an entire house. Ok – the Libyan way, i.e. NEVER compare the Libyan with the Swiss way… it would work – yet you would always be on alert with: EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED
Before these two rooms were the Garage Hadj wanted to make shops out of them – yet the shops were total flops so Salah was happy that Adel finally would get settled and therefore appreciated & welcomed Adel’s idea.
It was time to do sth… Mufida, of course already planned what dress she would wear to the wedding
Well, as most of the Libyan women she was totally crazy abt fashion. Shoes, accessories, make-up (she has a degree on cosmetics – she is awe in that and she can also cut hair very well – true!)
One day there was a fashionshow on the Lebanese channel. I happened to be with them. Mufida asked me non-stop – what does this mean in English – what does that mean in English… pretty – nice – beautiful: helo = nice/pretty - gnain = beautiful – then you have to distinguish between male and female: i.e. if you have Athana – she is gnaina – if there is a man: it is gnain Mufida was not happy with beautiful – she wished to know sth more – sth like super – I told her awesome or gorgeous
Finally she was happy.

At Easter I invited Ummi, Mufida and Nuri for Raclette. It was brilliant, just Nuri complained: why was there no bread and why did we not serve fizzy drinks but tea with it? Salah teased him: why not noodles, Nuri? I also asked him: why not rice? Salah added rice was not so famous in Libya. Ummi told Nuri: if you wish for a fizzy drink – go and buy a Pepsi (at that time there was NO Coca Cola in the market)… then Nuri was quiet cause we all know he hates shopping ok – we were not nice but please when you are invited – you can keep quiet, no? Ok Salah had to explain the fun afterwards – I only understood the “bread thingy” – I would have loved to laugh immediately – not only afterwards… Salah also told Nuri: if you were not to complain all the time – you would be less frustrated, you would have less greys and you would be happier… However – it was Nuri’s life and if he was happy with that…

One of those days Najad showed up and fell in love with Athana, as well – all loved that little girl. Still till today I miss Najad – she was my light in the dark – many times. She had a miserable life with her husband who then still was in prison. I told her the fortune and I saw that he still had a pile of problems but would get out of jail and she would become pregnant again. (to be added her husband is a drug addict, when I left Libya – he was still a drug addict – his brother an alcoholic – tragic). Their mother was a wonderful person – so there must have been other reasons – which led to those tragic addictions…
Athana was one of those kids who could not get enough of action. When I was pregnant with her I went to Lord of the Rings – a very long movie. She normally had me gone to the toilet every 2 hrs – during that movie I had NOT a single problem. It was as if she watched it with me – also during Harry Potter – I never needed to go to the bathroom in the cinema. Still till today she loves action movies – her favourite series are: Xena, Hercules and yes, Bones – can you imagine?
So when she had her hiccups she needed a change – i.e. a fast change. I normally went to the house of my mother in law – as soon as we arrived there, she went to sleep – brilliant… at least I then knew that she is not one of these sissies – till today – she is not afraid of anything. She is doing all at a fun fair – I have to stop her sometimes – she can do merry go rounds – which would make me dizzy and throw up – she thinks it is the perfect field day
She loved to be roled around and was playing hard. The more people around her – the happier she was.

CHAPTER 99

Iveenia — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 12:40:02 -0700

I was not aware how much i needed the contact to the outside world, yet proved that within two days: my husband said he wanted to go to a city – around 300 km away fm Tripoli – for a day and a night. He only returned after three days and three nights. I nearly went nuts. In my anger – i had given all the food to his family – because i also suffered fm diarrhea – so then – fresh veggies and fruit would just rot… however – when he came back he was VERY upset. The only person who understood me fully, was his mother. She had the same “ras m’sakr” like I had (ras m’sakr = closed head – stubborn head). She had told him where to get off… i.e. that he was not the one to tell me all that- on the opposite – I would have had the right to give him a ticking-off. Oh well, we all change… of course I was only miserable – as usual …
The next day – he started his argument, again – he shouted at me for the same reason he did the day before… so I bushed. Standing him that way – was NO way. I went to the El Chadra Hospital. There i felt more at home. Women fm Asia and Europe were there and understood the complexity of “the European life in Libya”… I talked to Violetta. She is Bulgarian yet speaks an impeccable English. Her kids are both musicians and her daughter lives in Germany. We had a long talk – and I also told her that my husband would surely be VERY upset if he got to know that I was there… Oh yes, she only understood me too well. She said: come here when you need to talk to us, and, of course when one has cabin fever…
Yes, actually I should not “drive around” – I should learn Libyan…
Yet what should I learn? Should I learn abt clothes, cosmetics, shoes? I am sorry – but discussions only abt outer looks? No, I would become more confused if I did that. I love philosophy and deeper subjects – but fashion? Ok – sometimes… finally I had found at least some people I was able to exchange opinions and getting to know other ways in Libya.
Actually Salah was resentful and even offered to bring me there when I felt like that again. Brilliant; it never came to that, anyway… Yet it was a kind of “we understand each other again – situation”.
I also explained his mother in a very primitive Libyan how I felt – i.e. that I needed to see other women fm my continent. She understood me well – and added: “you must feel like in prison.” – she had a point there…

A lot of people asked abt Athana. I did not dare to tell Natalia the truth – she said all along while I was pregnant that Athana would be a funny little girl. At that time I was largely doubting – yet she was right. Athana was funny; when she was two months old she wanted to walk, and whenever we wanted her to sit down – she got up… That also happened to the paediatrician – he took her to get to know whether she could hold her head alone – no – she got up on her feet and he was shocked so terribly that he was only able to say “Mashallah” – means: God bless you. She even tried to walk with 2 months – but of course it did not work – her motor skills did not approve then. I.e. the brain wished – she wished but her body was unable to cope I had bought so many books – regarding all in development abt babies. With Athana I would have been better off to throw them all! She was who she was – and that was not described in books. Only the statement, regarding motor skills, was true.
However – since all books I had failed, I referred to the book abt Crystal children. Maybe that was one adequate solution. Sometimes; and since I had been a career woman all the time, Salah was able to help. He then was empathic and had a sixth sense for Athana. He then knew (when I was overwhelmed) what she wanted. The funniest thing was when she tried to talk – yet what can a child say? Also there her motor skills failed, she then was very upset and cried (heartbreakingly…). But I was proud of her despite of her failures.
Finally and because of Athana I found a way to Kerima’s heart. She is a very shy woman, yet has also the “heart” of a queen and is a bit of a snob… the usual ways of a woman who is very concerned abt the looks – that showed in fashion, nails, cosmetics, shoes and her home. OMG if I was like that I would never have the time to work anymore – I would lack time greatly! Because I would be busy buying stuff for my kids that they look neatly and I would have to go to marriage parties – and therefore need a new wardrobe all the time… I am not that type – I need brain food, too and some challenges… so we did not really have a lot in common; EXCEPT cooking… there she is a master – the only thing she had, was – she always made the same sauce with her Cous Cous, her Rishta (noodles, self made) – all had the same taste… what a pity…

Re: good and bad people: my brother tried to get back to me. His wife fizzled. I was grinning: she wrote a birthday card (normal picture postcard); saying happy birthday and congratulations to your little one (not even a salutation; i.e. dear and name) – then she signed and added: PS: Greetings to Salah. That was really OFF the mark – I thought wow, yet I wrote back by snail-mail also: Many thanks for the picture postcard fm Therwil and best regards – then I signed and then I wrote PS: Salah greets, too
Ivan only wrote – best wishes to us and to our beautiful daughter. I did NOT send any birth notice to him and his wife – because she behaved so badly at the wedding anniversary of my parents. Anyway – she sent another thingy later – a body with a dolphin on it and a self-made card – which was not beautiful at all – even Salah said: OMG – so puke. At least we loved the body that was really a sweet one

Athana had a light fever, tonsillitis and pressure on her tympanum – i.e. ear-drum (doctor’s diagnosis). He was totally against any homespun remedies – so no olive oil and no camomile tea… Yet I always gave her Gripe Water when she had belly problems. I also considered to give her Lapacho Tea when she had reached 6 months. I would make a cure with her; i.e. we both would. It was important for both of us regarding the immune system. She weighed abt 5.22 kilos (11.49 lbs) and with stating that – I noticed that my menstruation was overdue for 10 days… So, God had decided to gift Athana a baby brother – the test had not been done then, yet later on we knew, I was pregnant with Mustafa…

CHAPTER 98

Iveenia — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 14:37:09 -0700

I was tired; a night with interruptions, 02:00 hrs, 05:00 hrs etc... – milk… That’s how it should be done the first 3 months… So we let it be, something new had been added these past 40 years… My parents had NOT done anything – they had me cried the first 3 nights and then – never again sleepless nights. But the “new” education says: Thy shall not be so brutal… They also explained in “big” letters and in books: there are three different types of sleepers: i.e. the “normal sleepers” they have the exact 24-hrs rhythm – the long sleepers (night owls) – they have “more” than 24 hrs in their blood and the early birds - those have a shorter day… Yes – my parents and I have short days and my bro was the night owl (and still is…) However – Athana is the night owl too – YIKES… this book – first i was still following – then i saw that Athana was NOT by the book at all – she has changed a lot – is maybe still a night owl but – she understood humor very fast – even abstract jokes – this book did not even mention abstract jokes and sorry – till today i know people who will never understand abstract jokes… Just to mention – in that book – which had been put together by scientists and doctors (mainly pediatricians) – you could find all abt nutrition, kinetic senses, playing, screaming, skin, teeth, sleeping and growing – (and lots more). Some things would exactly match. Some children are ahead in getting teeth, some are late. They were recommending to put fingers in the mouth when the kids wanted to suck sth, not the pacifier – well – Ummi had the same opinion as I had: a finger is a medium for bacteria… Best you can have. They grow under the fingernails and just look good (puke). The “best” thing will be that a kid would then put just anything in her/his mouth which looks like a finger – with a dummy this problem would not even occur and you could clean a dummy always so we did both agree on a dummy . She also said: do not take her up all the time – i.e. carry her. Only for burps – if you carry her always, you will be very annoyed… She was SO right! I did not do that but all others did – well she is a cute little sweetheart… but she still wants to be the ape of the family.

Luckily she was a very practical woman and told me bluntly what I was up to – she had to show her own kids how to do and now to me. i.e. bathing, pampering, feeding – etc. The first few weeks – she bathed her – she also explained that babies were very slippery when bathing them and many moms had them just skid out of hands… Really a funny feeling.
After the third bath we discovered a pimple on her buttock. Luckily Nurheddin was in the house. He examined it and did the job with Mufida – it was an abscess a deep one, full of puss – it must have been terrible. I kept out of it – when she cried I felt so bad – so I left her there. Salah nearly threw up when he heard abt it.
Well – Nurheddin had his own problems – he missed his wife and his son. They were both in Poland and he was so homesick – it was terrible. Salah said: “Libya is no country for Nurheddin. Look how old he became: he has got more grey hair than I do – and he is 2 years younger and looks older than I do.” Yes, Salah was right – Nurheddin was just lethargic and had installed himself in front of TV to just pick his coffee or tea and his cigarette and not moving otherwise… His mom nearly went up the wall because her son made her days… He was like a furniture; also eating and drinking like a machine. Well – since Ummi felt for him (he had been working for 2.5 years without any salary!!!) She could not throw him out without money. Salah said laconically: “he could work for a private clinic, but he is no business man.” Oh well… no comment to that one… The leader Mr. G. had promised to fully pay all salaries, increase all of them as well and guarantee that to all who worked in public hospitals. BLA BLA BLA – I would wish to see that one…
Then the big shed arrived; Athana’s skin went off – a natural process after having been born; sure – kids no longer need the same skin as in the belly – wow – she looked awful! Her hair was supposed to fall off as well – (ha, no – it did not – LOL). On April 11, finally her umbilical cord fell off. I was sooooooooooo happy! Salah said: it normally never takes so long! „Stupid“ i countered: “it is waxing moon – all takes longer during waxing moon.“
After having given birth – in Libya – they were talking abt the 40 days. I.e. the kids should be at home and not been taken out during that time – cause these 40 days were critical to a child’s health. Also my doctor (Dr. Prof. Dr. Mustafa) wanted to see me only after those 40 days. BTW: the card I had written to him – he never showed to anyone. He was proud but shy. not even his daughter got to see it. Maybe the compliments were a bit too much for him When he saw me after those 40 days he was complaining to my husband: “you should give her more rests. The others should work – she is doing all fully, right? I can see that.” Sure – I am the type of “laid-back” – never I am not. I cannot look – watch – observe others doing my jobs and i sit there and do nothing? No – not my style.
I also shared the opinion of many doctors and psychiatrists: if I fell back in lethargy myself – I might have depressions again and feel useless – so I avoided this feeling by working heavily…
***
Athana having the hiccups – wow – that was terrible – I was unable to do sth and she was screaming. Of course the screaming made it worse. It is only a matter of breathing. I know that because my main hobby is singing. But how to explain a baby: “hey, breathe correctly.“ – all my jobs i ever had – were a piece of cake compared to motherhood… I then had these sinking feelings: I am unworthy, not capable, an idiot – i.e. I was not up to the job, etc. some kind of a helplessness. Whenever I was thinking abt THIS job, i.e. being a mother – I felt like a total greenhorn, a beginner in front of the mountain of “new land”. Well – the bleedings after the operation – they would last 12 days – ha, mine lasted 22. I blamed the moon as well. It had been a fact that recovery after operations during waxing moon lasted much longer than during waning moon. Also milking; if I was really well I had abt 20 ml – well – what can an old cow do? Nothing. no problem. My mom explained to me that even she did not have enough of milk. My husband was unable to help me with my daily jobs. He had medical checks for his renewal of license in Libya and he was also working hard in the bakery. We did still not make a living with it; so I was thinking of going back to work, again.
I had some interviews but nobody wanted to hire me, I was obviously asking for too much. Yet later I heard that it was not too much. They paid foreigners abt 2’000 US$ and gave them free rent and mostly even a car. I was rather stupid. Well – later you are more intelligent and know more, too. Stop thinking the “hue” was crying for me

BTW: that is Mufida - one of her pictures in the year 2000 - the evening gown she made herself! i always compared her to Jasmin - Disney's Aladdin

CHAPTER 97

Iveenia — Sun, 31 May 2009 06:08:34 -0700

Perhaps I had postnatal depressions – I always broke in tears whenever I was moved – how annoying… Well – get used to it…
So, now I was at home and felt like the ultimate greenhorn, a stupid chick with a baby and I had NO idea how to take care of her… Brilliant – in addition she had her first “vomit days” and I nearly went nuts…
Ummi came to me and said: “If you need me – I will help you – no matter if it is day or night – come to my house. We all started small, be happy that you are not alone.” How prophetic these lines were – we did not know in advance – yet yes, I went to her more often than I would have wished for… And it was not only because of my kids – it was because of HER “kid”…
However – I was VERY grateful, that this family had accepted me – and that I had been taken care of well, too.
Finally the parcel fm my parents had arrived… There was one P.O. Box number missing – instead of the 2787 there was only 278 – the greatest fun was – that nobody knew – it was the address of the EL CHADRA HOSPITAL - - Adel’s P.O. Box number had four digits… However – they did not find me there cause it had been delivered before my delivery. Wow – life is soooooooooo funny!!! So El Chadra sent it back to the main post office. They were so close to send it back to my parents – luckily Salah went. There was this elderly gentleman who helped him out – even went with him to the locker – the “post-office safe” – GREAT – I was so grateful, prayers work – definitely
The elderly gentleman congratulated my husband to the baby and gave him the parcel without even opening it. Irene had sent stuff to my parents – at that time the embargo was still on – i.e. no contact with the US – no internet connection either – nothing… BRILLIANT LIFE
In the parcel were baby clothes and other sweet stuff – she had a frog bib – which was just soooo sweet. Ummi loved it mostly. I was happy abt the enzymes which would make the scar heal faster. The next day they would take the stitches out. “My” professor Doctor Mustafa made this in person
He was really a darling. He also added: “Your mother is a woman of substance and your wife is a wonderful person, whom I like very much.”
My husband and my doctor understood each other well and I was happy abt that. Of course we had given gifts to him and his daughter – cause that was the least and I also hoped that they liked the cards, as well.
***
Athana had been born at 11:20 hrs minus two hours (Libyan time to GMT - daylight saving’s time another hr minus and then minus 10 minutes – cause I calculated it to Basel time) that was 09:10 hrs = Gemini ascendant. Who did that remind me of – and true – till today – she cannot decide easily… Like all my Gemini female friends. Male friends who are Gemini I do not have anymore. Athana was a born Aries – had the moon in Aries, as well = STUBBORN times 2 – i.e. her mood would be stubborn as well – that is what moon tells us then she had an ascendant of a Gemini which is actually the fastest and most intelligent Zodiac sign they say – so her intellectual grasp would be above average – well – that would mean – we will fight – ok – then so be it. She was a very active and vivid person – that was even indicated in the report of the hospital. i.e. she was already a little fighter. I just hoped – that she was not like me as a child – i.e. I gave up too fast mostly… However- her stubborn head made her win against my husband – he gave up. Yet against me – she had another stubborn head – I was 0.2 degree Taurus and Aries – exactly on the line. So now she had the challenge to fight against a set of 2 pair of horns - BTW: my mom’s ascendant is Gemini, as well and my mom is also an Aries. So I have/had been there – done that
If I gave up – and would give in – regarding her head – she would dictate – i.e. she would educate us – the older ones and would take over. Yet that was far of my intention – so I put up a fight whenever she tried. I had luckily bought the books during my pregnancy - it was abt Indigo children. Indigo kids would never ever accept orders – only either or – they would never just do sth which seemed nonsense to them. They would be different – and when developing their abilities – which were not really considered to be “normal” – i.e. mental abilities – that could just mean anything. Only later I found out that my kids were not anymore Indigo kids – however it is not important, what they are – but who they are.
Ummi helped me to change diapers – bathing her and also explained to me – that little babies are so slippery when getting in the bath – that you might lose them if you did not grab them well but not hurting – wow – what a job – I felt so stupid so downgraded so awfully like a bloody beginner – my depression… I had talked abt it with my doctor – he said: no, not you – but true – yes I had a postnatal depression – and a very huge one…
However – most women had to fight with that – i.e. with postnatal depression – over 90 % - so I belonged in there as well. Also Kerima and Amal were fighting with it – they confessed. Ummi never talked abt it anymore. Maybe she had forgotten or did not have time to think back.
Anyway one day I really had that breakdown – I was talking abt NO milk – only 20 ml that was top (I had a breast pump) then I was talking abt my disqualification abt educating kids, not even being able to change diapers – I was just nothing – wow – when I think back how terrible that was then sorry – I nearly laugh. Sure – it is incredible – yet – PMS was easy against those feelings… My husband did not know what to say anymore – he felt like paralyzed and completely off this world. In the evening I had finally gotten hold of myself again – I had taken out the book fm Erhard F. Freitag “the power of positive thinking”. How can God reach someone if in a terrible state like depression, sadness, anger, deception, aggression – nobody can be reached then anymore – I knew that fm books I had read. We should be happy with what we had. Should say yes to life and have joy in living. It really helped. However it was not easy – not even to go to the bathroom. The scar hurt terribly and the hematomas did make life hell. Even only letting go of air – that was hell – actually. Finally all stitches had been removed, the scar would look good my doctor said. Just that evening I was dead – so exhausted – Ummi kept the little one with her and I was “given off”. I.e. during the time we had been with the doctor. Apparently madam Athana had been protesting heavily that neither mom nor dad were there. She did even refuse to drink milk. However I had not more than those 20 ml of milk – which Ummi always claimed that more would come. I was not sure- I talked abt myself as an old “cow”. Yes – my sarcasm was back… It was not a shame – also Amal did not have milk for three of her children. And all were ok, anyway. Firstly I should become healthy again and then we would see to the milk – that is what Ummi said.
When I wanted to get some sleep – Amal’s kids came and made hell of a noise – exactly in front of the sleeping room’s window. So sleeping? Oh well - yes on another planet… I did not sleep at all. Salah slept in the same room as i did, again. I did not care anymore whether he snored or not – at hospital we had three women in the same room who were snoring worse. Yet and I admit – both of my kids snore, too and I cannot stand it anymore However – then I did not care. He also helped me at night to prepare her milk and with the breast feeding – even so there was not a lot and we always had to go for the baby formula milk… I was also not allowed to hold the baby because of my scar – so he had to hold her – wow – what a job!!! However during the day I could not just run to all and say – hey, she needs milk – so I did it myself and lifted her – after all she needed milk – with Mustafa I would not make such a “theater”, anymore!
After drinking milk, babies need to burp – otherwise they might throw up… oh yes – that is nice to clean the whole stuff – especially on carpets and shirts – awesome – who does not know abt that as a mother or father or relative…?
Mohamed – Salah’s youngest brother did not wish that the others knew how much he loved Athana – he sneaked in and kissed her fast on her front and then nearly ran out – Ummi caught him – but he did not see her I was laughing so also Mohamed suffered of the “Athana-sickness”.
It was really funny – that all were so deeply-stirred because of this little baby, why was I immune? I still ask myself. Maybe, because I am her mother? No idea… It was as if they were addicted to her. All wanted to caress her immediately. Of course she was “someone special”. WE ALL ARE – yet to exaggerate like this? Sure – she was cute and also I did hug her and cuddle her and kiss her several times a day – but I think it was a “healthy way”. Okay – she was very white – i.e. pink and maybe that made her also someone special in Africa. Yet overdoing was not my cup of tea. Her charisma was something I had to get along with – also with human beings I had never met before – I had to get used to it.
***
Regarding politics (and fleas) we had some nice news in Libya. First the intro: Al Jazeera – had brought a documentary abt Gaddafi (I called Gaddafi the humpy animal herder) – actually abt all these countries: Libya, Iraq, Iran (in my mails I had to write abt the carpet-countries = Iran & Iraq – if only one of these guys working in the department of observation of ALL e-mails, short message system, phone calls, faxes – just anything would get to know what stuff I was telling my parents and friends abt Libya – we would have been not just in deep but deeper trouble) – all were there. The truth – I know they are – among many other media channels – they really do best in research. However – the Saudi Arabian story was really a “nice” one – the Saudi embassy was like extinct – not a trace of any of them – swallowed up by the earth… really very scary… gone with the wind…
Salah was happy that the story was over and that it had been so gotten off so lightly… I was not really sure.
I called all Muslim countries as a whole: the sand box countries
However – Al Jazeera always receives a lot of threats – i.e. we will kill all of you – and you will be blown off the map – that is why they always change their locations. I know someone fm Al Jazeera personally – that is why I can write abt it here. He has been working there for quite a while.
There was also news abt another country which emphasised to change two more governments in the “Arab” world. It was purely abt the black gold – i.e. the oil. Frankly speaking
BTW: amendment – my feeling was correct – no way abt going smoothly – just the same afternoon abt – all went well in Libya…: at 14:00 hrs that afternoon a factory next to Gaddafi’s residence went up in flames… WOW Mr. Humpy Animal Herder was scared to death – and I am VERY sure – that he had more than postnatal depressions now…
***

Chapter 96

Iveenia — Sun, 24 May 2009 12:09:56 -0700

She was here – finally here – the little one who looked like my dad and my brother initially. Hands and feet were like my dad’s, even the chin and the expression – it was as if my dad had been born, again. The eyes were a mixture between Salah’s and mine, the nose was really Salah’s. She had bigger nostrils than we do have in Europe, to be able to breathe better – in every case “not the European standard”.
Regarding my stay in hospital I was only able to say: it was dirty, no warm water, one night NO water at all, because they were building and renovating the whole hospital during my stay there. They have had beautiful paving tiles but hey, did anyone think how dangerous it was when slipping on shiny tiles? However – it looked like state of the art…
Talking abt tiles: we had the same story at Zurich Main station – there they had shiny tiles – made of granite – it looked so beautiful – yet after several accidents and people who complained – the headquarters of the station agreed on abrasion – i.e. the glossy finishing was then matt. I was only asking myself: HOSPITAL? Accidents? Ok – at least you are already in a hospital… sorry for my sarcasm…
In all bathrooms there was such filth – you can never imagine… They left bloody towels there fm operations and dried bread in a BATHROOM!!! Cockroaches were running around – no, not big ones – little ones… we called them Samir, i.e. we named them like: Samir one – Samir two. They were crawling around everywhere; on curtains, walls, on the floor. PUKE – however – we were 6 women in one room – the hospital was fully booked – even overbooked. They had 18 rooms (18 X 6 =) 108 women average. They had a special section for Hepatitis. We (i.e. the “healthy” women) were not allowed to go there. In our room there was an elderly lady who helped me with my daughter. Actually all helped me – it was such a great feeling with them – like friends. Yet I was the only one with a caesarean. Was not allowed to lift anything not even Athana and also not allowed to walk fast that would lead to opening the scar. However – we had too many women in our room, who came to see Athana. Almost all kissed her and said: “helo halba (= very pretty) or gnaina (= beautiful) and looked at her in a deeply moved way. In the initial I felt rather bothered, yet at the end I somehow understood that I have to share her and true – till today – I have to share her…
In addition all came there to tell me that I had “to produce” a second one… Sure – I thought so too – a single child will be spoiled, mostly. I know very few exceptions to the rule
Yet – I left this decision to God.
The first night was hell, my daughter nearly died. She almost choked – the nurse Haluma luckily came in to fix my drip – yet it was not the usual timing – it was as if she had been the guardian angel. I had woken up just at the same time because I felt sth wrong and she just entered the room… GOD’s ways… I told her in my English – pls – she cannot breathe. Haluma tried everything – Athana did not breathe. She then took the kid out of the cradle and ran downstairs to the children hospital section. After half an hour she came back – Athana was alive – I was so relieved! After this incident I just swore to myself to get healthy the soonest possible. I would have never forgiven myself if something like that happened, again. I was not even fully there – cause I had heavy tranquilizers and pain injections – so I just said shukran shezilan and that was it… The next day Haluma was off, naturally – after her night shift. It had always been like that in the El Chadra Hospital: last shift was night shift. The day after she was back – day shift – the first thing she did, was coming to our room – took Athana out and kissed her. It was really weird how all were so much in love with my daughter… however – she has a lot of hearts to give to all yet… She can also be a little naughty devil – oh my…
Then Salah’s family came – one by one – first Kerima. She gave Athana her first earrings, when she took her up she started crying. Salah asked her bluntly and dryly: “why do you cry?” She said no child had ever moved her that way… Salah ranted: “these earrings – should someone hurt the little one I will……” However she would have her injections before leaving hospital – i.e. polio – hepatitis and the third one I have forgotten – they called it CBC there.
In Libya you learn to pray. Before the operation I had said to God: I put myself in your hands. What else could/should I do? We really never know what God has in store for us i.e. in advance…
I knew that Salah was unable to be alone at home – so he slept many times either in the car in the parking lot of the hospital or on a bench near the reception desk.
Before the operation his mother finally succeeded to get a bed in hospital because of bribing a nurse. She had been waiting till the birth process was over and then had washed Athana, pampered, given milk and dressed. Still till today I think Salah overdid it. When I checked out – he had a friend of Nurheddin coming along – that doctor made all the check-out papers and did also organize vitamins and other stuff.
I had written a letter to my gynaecologist: Dear Sir – (I have a problem with titles) Thank you so much what you have done for the little one and for me. Words can hardly describe how much I feel. Please know that those who have decided to take the path of God sometimes have to stand the hardest times, because not all around us do approve or understand why we have taken a certain decision. (That sentence was the conclusion of an incident, which I will write after having told you the rest of the letter). Please also know that doctors like you are rarer and more precious than the rarest naturally grown pearls on Earth! Please go your way / walk your path and never ever hesitate! Please also understand and do not get me wrongly, yet I felt as if you were like my father when I stayed in hospital. You strengthened me before the operation and told me abt the coming pain. GOD SHALL BE WITH YOU ON EVERY STEP OF YOUR LIFE & GOD BLESS YOU – with this I signed the letter
Of course I made a copy – which now “resides” in Libya in a file with all photos, papers, birth documents etc…
The sentence regarding the path of God had a story: we had a woman in our room, she was in severe pain. She was pregnant with a child – who was unable to survive. The baby was not only disabled but also brain-damaged. Dr. Mustafa knew this very well, he was feeling helpless because of the baby and also because of that young woman, he thought „worst case scenario“: i.e. I will lose both… Since I have a way with all people having problems, they all confess to me – no matter who they are/were he told me that off his chest… Actually he had offered her an abortion – yet the darling woman did not wish for that. She wanted to stay in that hospital and wait – even with an early birth; i.e. carry the child to a certain time and then having a cesarean. He was so despaired, he nearly cried: “She refuses even the treatment; she does not give an inch. I think I am going to lose her!” Of course I did not really get that abortion thingy – because I had grown up as a Roman Catholic and for that “sort of belief” it was out of question to go for an abortion. Yet God’s decision came the same night: She suddenly was in labor – and went to intensive care. There she bore the deformed fetus, the child was dead. The next day “my” doctor was so relieved. I only said: „You see? Even God has agreed with you in this special case. “ He humbly hung his head, only and whispered: “Thank you very much”. Then he disappeared.
Later that day – that woman came to me and confessed the baby was dead. Of course it was my check-out day so I only hugged her and said: “You are a very beautiful woman and you will have a very sweet daughter, one like mine.” Then she was very happy and consoled. Of course it did not work the way she had wished for – yet GOD is merciful!
Well – Check-Out-Day: Injection-Day for Athana; what a torture! They gave her that three-in-one thingy and she was bawling her eyes out. I could not stand it, I nearly cried as well – it was as if they killed her. However she needed these papers for the next injections. That would be the case in abt a month. Of course that would pass – yet she was unaware of that kind of pain and it was heart-breaking to hear her crying like that.

However – we were on our way home.

CHAPTER 95

Iveenia — Sun, 03 May 2009 12:01:59 -0700

Oh yes, and the parcel fm my parents had not arrived either… No idea whether it had been the war or whether someone else had found it nice and kept it. Could be… Next time I would tell my parents – write OLD clothes and pls never ever write more than 50 Swiss Franks on it… However c’est la vie…
I did not count on it anymore – too many days had passed; i.e. more than a month. Adel Shumena went to the post office every day – I nagged on Salah to invite Adel… It would be the least.
***
Maybe one of you might remember the bulb which went one of those days. Salah had still not replaced it. After having visited the bulb – i.e. the place where it once had been – i felt somehow illuminated, despite of the darkness in the bathroom… So i went to the storage room and swept it. I was unable to watch that mess in there. I presume that must have been the “days” of our monthly “PMS”. So it was still there… Whenever i had PMS i felt like cleaning… and of course the chocolat mood. Wished to go to the kitchen and make some hot chocolate with BLACK one of course – yet at that time there was no black one on the market – the Libyans anyway loved milk chocolate better than the black one… Salah was working – had meetings and a check-up the next day for renewal of license in Libya – that is different in EVERY country. I did not believe he would make it so fast… And, of course and as usual I was right – it took him another four years – i.e. till 2007 till he finally was flying again…
The only thing I was tired of was to live on 10 Dinars a day (10 a day is good, that was still “heaven” compared to what was to come…)- We went shopping if you can call that shopping we had to cut down the list on 1/3 – i.e. 2/3 we had to delete… So, it has never been Salah forgetting sth – he just had no other choice than cancelling things on the list because of lack of money. I felt so bad I never felt in years. I had always been independent and now that… There were still 20 Swiss Franks fixed on the white board… He never even touched them… Maybe it was like that because he felt that Madame was soon to arrive…
The day before I went to the internet – she was absolutely quiet – as if she was surfing, too. Afterwards I had trouble to get up – i.e. out of the office chair – too soft… Of course all pregnant women had trouble to either get up or sit down, sleep etc.
Sometimes I had thoughts like: should I remain in the bathroom – cause I anyway had to leave water too often
Whenever I was washing dishes or had only the water running I felt like oh – BATHROOM… But it was not even half a cup… Sometimes there were only 3 drops – and for this I was getting up??? Well – when babies are working out – i.e. going for sit-ups in the belly… There we run.
Well in the pregnancy book it was written – that the energy level was going up then down etc… Yes true, sometimes I felt like going for all (even like cut down a tree ) - then I was lying low, drained and felt more dead than alive …
Then it was written: do not clean keep your energy for the labor. So I should go for saving here as well? Of course… What else? I thought if i did not do the chores, who else? I did not care what was written in there because who would if I did not take care of that… And besides – what would chores do to us? Kill us? No, we practically grew up with it – that was the same with men; they grow beards all alone I even thought – hey great – that is gym – so get some more
***
The whole family was happy abt the crib. Even Amal – she had been with us for the first time ever, was smiling.
Actually Amal was the one I liked mostly. All thought she took her “mother’s life” too easy, she has 5. Yet I knew that it was not true. Even my husband thought that she was not “good enough” in educating the kids properly. I thought that this was “mish dachlik” (that is not your business). Oh – I would have better kept quiet – yet you know me, cannot – am who I am… However I just said: do it better with our daughter. Khallas (over and out).
My personal opinion was that Amal did the best she could in that family with one husband who never really worked at a work place for more than 2 or 3 months and she was a teacher so she went to work at a public school for starvation wages – i.e. for nothing really… At least she was tough but kind-hearted – she was fair and honest (very rare in Libya – we will get to that later) and even when it came to people passing by at her house – she always shared with all – yet the cookies fm my dad – she ate some herself and I think SHE DESERVED IT REALLY! Her kitchen I liked – she cooked a simple cuisine but it was tasty and nice. In addition to her cooking – her house WAS ALWAYS clean – even so she had NO vacuum cleaner and carpets all over the place…
***
Then there was this story with the workers who were always staring at me. The owner of that house came to us personally and excused himself. You can make hell of a noise but if someone was staring at you that was really the worst which could happen. Then it was a disaster…
Then we had all these women telling that it was so bad when a man had to suffer fm a newborn baby – cause his wife would turn away fm him and all the love she once had would be for the baby, only. How stupid! On my opinion this happened when a woman was insecure – she then hang to her baby(ies) instead of sharing comfort time with her husband, too – yet – I was nearly 40 so I could sing all that tunes
***
Regarding supervising and observing babies: Kerima’s baby nearly killed himself i.e. suffocation with a cushion. By God the whole family nearly went nuts! Can you imagine? How dreadful!
***
The same evening we had a quarrel abt his brother Nurheddin – he did not even inform his own mother abt their father – her husband – his sickness became worse and worse. Nurheddin expected his father practically every day to get lost in the city – so actually he should have informed mom firstly – but he did not – all of the family knew but she did not. So I kicked Salah, to tell his brother, the doctor, to do so…
Well doctors anyway have got a different sense of humor… My best friend, David, an oncologist, loved for example the movie – Serial Mom with Kathleen Turner – and when this scene appeared; i.e. her daughter being dumped by her boyfriend – and she went into the men’s room to kill the ex-bf of her daughter – with that poker – which she firstly choose fm that flea market… Wow – after having done the job and something came out – I think it was the kidney – and she nearly fell because she slipped on it – WOW – David nearly died laughing. And the guy who was sitting next to our “cinema gang” went grey and then green and at the end – he of course left - I loved that “leaving” more than the scene but actually I understand David – it was bizarre and at the same time OVER DOING sth. It was actually hilarious. The other doctor I know personally was also a strange guy – he explained when they had all these surgeries on the dead parts of people… I asked him whether he had to vomit – he said: “No.” Then I asked him: “Did you feel sick then?” He said: “No. Actually, you know - I feel hungry…” Well so far so good – I think changing the subject makes more sense – in addition to the coming examination at the gynecologist, cause next day I had another appointment with my gynecologist… It would be March 31, 2003…
***
Here we were: Gynecologist… Because i had very high blood pressure (at least for my „body household“, edemas and also other problems, he said: hospital – cesarean. I had to wait for another day. On April 2, 2003 I gave birth to Athana Naeema – I only felt old – cause 18 days later I would become 40…
***
There was gossip – a lot of gossip – 1. my gynecologist is a professor – not a regular doctor and in addition to that he had studied in the UK – and he received his PhD there… So he was actually a very well educated man – we had the same spiritual level. However – he operated me by himself – normally he had a crew and was just supervising – yet since I was treated like his own daughter, so they did gossip.
2. He gave me his arm to help me getting on the OP-table but I went all alone on it without help mentioning – I can do that and smiled…
And
3. He waited till i woke up and that is also very unusual Actually I was numb – and just asked whispering (cause I was totally exhausted): “what is it?” He only said: “She is a girl and she is as beautiful as her mother…”
He then disappeared and I went back to sleep… - somehow I realized that he was proud and I had that “wow-feeling”.
***
The day after was also a gossip-day for the hospital. Of course I had a catheter and I do not like that at all – so I asked to go to the bathroom and get rid of that stupid thingy… of course that was GETTING up time – tough – when you wobble around and have pudding instead of legs… The sisters helped me – three of them. I did not give up. Abt two hours later, Dr. Mermesh came again and helped me personally to get up. And then walked with me – like a father – up and down the corridor of the hospital…
That was the headline all over the hospital…
I did not give up – I got up alone and went to the bathroom alone the same evening.
***
In addition to that – Dr. Mermesh was right regarding the taste of the Libyan women. Athana obviously was a very beautiful baby to them - maybe because she was so white, so I had a lot of visitors. They all came to see my baby. Brilliant – actually I wished for some relaxation but hello – she was white had only some small hair on her head and looked so shiny that all were so moved by only seeing her. I hoped I was soon to leave that place – but when giving birth by C-Section bravo – at least 5 days…
I was only happy that my mother in law helped me a great deal in EVERYTHING – that was good – cause I felt lost somehow. A career woman with a baby, never had any lessons in babysitting was impatient to the level and now a mother – I could hardly believe that…

Meet the whole family - Athana - her Father and me:

Meet Athana and her father

CHAPTER 94

Iveenia — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 15:35:44 -0700

Before he went to sleep I told Salah – I will cook – sliced beef with shi take mushrooms and dried champignons. Oh he was drooling. Next day I had waited until 16:00 hrs and had not eaten anything – just tasted – only eaten fruit the whole day. He had eaten in the bakery with his employees... Sure I understood – he was forced to – they told him between the lines: our food is never good enough for you. So he was obliged to. Actually I call this compel someone to do sth. Was not really the „fine“ art of living a „free life“. Well arriving at home he smelt that incredible delicious aroma of the cooking and he was very sorry and admitted to have forgotten. N/P – I could always warm it up – it was not like the never-ending story of my parents i.e. when my mom was cooking Roesti (for those who wish to know abt Roesti – here the link to the recipe:
http://teamsugar.com/group/1709694/recipes/1709704 )
and dad was always late – all other dishes were fine – just that one always caused the same and the same again …
One of these days – someone rang the doorbell and Mufida knocked on our door – Salah was very secretive and acted strange then asked me out: There it was: the bed for Athana – 140 cm on 60 cm - how much it cost? About 20 $ (including transport) - not more – it was prim wood, tapered staffs. On top you found a ball which was also very beautiful – awesome timber work – dark wood and shimmering i loved that bed immediately. Sorry no pic available. That bed surely was not fm Libya. He had found it in a shop – they had to adjust and replace the wood inside – otherwise she would have fallen through – i.e. on the floor. The carpenter could have sold it twice – yet Salah was intelligent enough and paid in advance.
Finally we got a bed for Athana – finally. Actually I nearly cried, because the bed was so cute and I was so moved. Yet that is normal at the end of pregnancy…
I knew then that he never really had forgotten abt it – he just had played a game with me…
Salah had started to clear the storage room. Not finished but started… Unfortunately he had put all my books in one corner and put any other stuff in front of them. So I had no more access to them. Since I was fed up of movies – (DVDs & Laserdiscs), I went back reading. I had to tell him very nicely to put them back. I had such a hunger for books – I was reading all Marion Zimmer-Bradley books again – in a short time 10 of them. She is actually (till today) my favourite writer – all books which were available in German I had been buying. I even had access on a total “new” one to me at least – 700 pages in 3 days… Of course: heartburn and not being able to sleep… The usual pregnancy life…
It was good to read abt Darkover. Also on that planet men were not allowed to stare at women and vice versa. The only difference to a Muslim country was: they did not wear a hishab (= veil) yet – the neck had to be covered in Darkover so I felt pretty relieved. I had changed significantly: I did not even look at men anymore.
Salah had introduced me to the Prime-Minister fm Libya. We met him in a super market. All knew Salah, because they also knew Salah’s dad. Since his dad had been working in the previous government – all knew the family…
My heartburn had not really improved, I only slept around 3 – 5 hrs. I always got up when Salah went to the bakery shop. Sometimes I went back to sleep yet more often I had to do my chores – well till today – chores do not do themselves
Unfortunately it was torture to stand too long; my legs were swollen to the level – I felt like an elephant. I still took all with a huge portion of humour. I could have complained – yet what would I have gained with that?
Actually I had a better pregnancy than his sister Amal – poor Amal the last three months she was unable to sleep in her bed – could not lay down. She had to sleep while seated on a chair. Can you imagine? Anyway – normally when a birth was near – women totally relaxed and had others helping them. I did not wish for that – I still made all I could and all were surprised. Of course there is a story behind all that. My aunt – her husband was my dad’s half brother, was in the same situation as I was: she had swollen legs and so forth. Yet she was only lying in bed, doing nothing – her husband had to do all in addition – he worked and in the evening he even did the chores for her. I did never understand that. In the end she was so fat and had swollen legs like an elephant, as well. She looked terrible. That was my daunting example of letting go of oneself…
With all my enzymes and vitamins it was not so terrible – actually even so I had all these stupid things – I felt pretty good still; i.e. health wise. Well in Libya nutrition was not really an issue. Most had too much meat and/or dehydrated food. They cooked the veggies too long and therefore were not really eating “healthy”. It leads to gallstones, diabetes and other nice degenerated sicknesses. They did not even really know abt herbs. The herbs which helped in a broader case were fleya (camomile) and oregano; mostly.
The funniest thing was my daughter and her “wishes to eat” – I was not hungry many times. Yet Athana wanted certain food, for example corn flakes. I kept receiving pictures fm corn flakes – which became bigger and bigger as if sitting in a theatre and watching a screen – at the end the picture was so big that the stomach nearly went nuts and I was forced to go to the kitchen and had the flakes, madam asked for… So I actually watched commercials in my own home cinema – very clever, my little one! END OF LINE: Hello heartburn – goodbye sleep…

CHAPTER 93

Iveenia — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 14:13:55 -0700

I asked myself when would be the next time I was able to go to the internet – and, when I would finally get rid of my huge belly… It would be so beautiful to get rid of all that water in my legs. I was not even able to stand or sit longer than I wished to – yet I had the impression that I had the same and the same stuff in my head, boring…
Salah had brought some camel liver and hearts. He cooked it – it was very delicious. He also brought a well stored filet of beef – it had not been cleaned completely – yet I would do that. It smelled so wonderful I had to fry a piece. It was like butter… i.e. that tender. One kilo of beef filet was 10 Dinars – abt $ 8.
How much would you pay for one kilogram of beef? Nobody was eating beef in Libya – only sheep and camel – therefore we really had a good opportunity to buy it at a cheap price
I only asked myself when would be next time to get to the internet… and when I would be able to get rid of my huge belly, they were unbearable – the edemas. It caused pain to sit and stand too long in the kitchen.
***
Salah did not drive me to the internet. He was gluing to the TV and watching WAR – it was AAAAAARG. In the evening he was tired and too fed up to drive anywhere. Of course – if you are constantly watching bad stuff on TV I would be too… Well ok – it was his time he wasted. I did not understand that people were able to watch war for 3 hrs. Yet he was not alone – the whole family watched that interesting uplifting part of history; i.e. Iraq war. Watching Al Jazeera the whole time – or CNN or NBC wow I nearly went nuts! I had the impression that they behaved like mind wiped people who were unable to perform any other job at that time. Unfortunately the whole war gave me the impression to see people who were convinced to be best and those who thought to be more equal than others (Greetings fm George Orwell). In addition there were those who thought to be the victims all the time – what a crap! Nobody is a victim – unless that seed had been planted into some heads. We are what and who we think – so easy – i.e. easier than we think. If I think badly abt me – the others will pick up that reflection and use it “against” me. So to me it is very important to respect myself and only think best of myself – if I make mistakes – my closest ones would tell me and I was able to do sth abt it.
That day Ummi’s gas cylinder stood in the garden. Ummi did not have any left. Without gas no food or hot drinks. Normally the man of the house was to do that job i.e. heavy gas cylinder. Unfortunately he passed by, the reason we all know – his Alzheimer disease did not help Ummi really. When Salah had arrived home I had told him to go and get gas. I did not mention that I nearly took to the streets and would have done it myself – ok that was not a reasonable decision and in addition it was not a respectful attitude of a “so called woman” in Libya anyway… He gazed at me because I held my belly, he asked, do we need to go to hospital? I said no. I only wanted at least one member of the family to go and get the necessities of a household, i.e. to care… I loved Ummi the same way I love my own mom. Still I did not understand her, yet I would be able to communicate one day and finally discuss the things I wished to. Just at that moment I was too tired and too busy with my “inlay”. I felt like a huge heavy balloon on two sticks – my groins were my biggest pain. I had no more idea how to stand or sit or walk. Ummi said one week and you go. I would have had that long ago. I had changed the bed of my husband. This time he did not complain, even so the mattress was heavy, yet the duty and the habit to do as usual; i.e. the chores. He had been sick so best is always to change the bed sheets. I shared the opinion with my mom – afterwards you feel much better. I was sure that he planned to sleep for a while if the news were not that captivating… He had his usual horror hour i.e. getting out of bed was worst for him. Instead of 07:00 hrs as planned he finally made it around 09:00 hrs. I was unable to sleep when he was up. Since I am aural I hear even the grass growing
I had not been able to get some sleep till 04:00 hrs – as usual. Heartburn oh heartburn – would you please disappear. Even one pot of meadowsweet did not help; Madame had other ideas she probably loved the soft intestines and/or my stomach and made me nearly vomit… Today I know what can be done against heartburn then I had not been able to even access these mineral powders. We all learn even every day. So I had spoiled my husband with fresh orange juice, with fresh buns, which I had even buttered, prepared the coffee things. He always wanted me to sleep.
The evening before I had prepared a tea for him with fresh orange syrup which I had been cooking for us with the last oranges. He only said; nice took a sip of it and disappeared. Yes – I drank the jug the next day…
***

CHAPTER 92

Iveenia — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 13:59:29 -0800

Mufida another chapter in Mufida’s life: she was constantly depressive. I took the decision to make a session with her with NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). I had attended a course in 1996 – i.e. the Practitioner and the Business Master (not to mix up with MBA !) anyway, she finally knew who was key in her life; and in addition to that it took her ONLY 30 minutes – when I had been in the course it took me more than two hours… so she is a rather smart woman… I hope till today! She finally found the conclusion that all started with her – love, respect, confidence etc… She finally slept well in a long time and even the next day she felt so good!
Well it had been time for her to get to know that chapter of life…
Salah had been shopping, finally he had got some “better” toilet paper and kitchen paper… Now, we were “only” lacking light bulbs, let us see how long he would take to buy those ones…
***
To shake a leg became worse and worse. It was as if my motor was broken totally… the night before she had been practicing her pushups on my right groin… it hurt the whole night – (at least the whole night; i.e. when she was doing sth she did it right )… the next day I looked like someone had tortured me… I was soooo tired. Yet I made a tea (coffee was forbidden) so I mixed a teabag fm Celestional Seasoning’s with the foam of my self made syrup and added some mixture of ground spices to it (the name of that mix is called Heureka) – it was AWESOME! I also mixed some of the foam into my yogurt and my husband said: wow you should sell that syrup to the yogurt manufacturers. Sure and what else, please? My husband was a marketing & sales expert. If only he had been selling so well in his bakery shop… whatever, my voice, my pineapple oil and then what: was there still time for him? I also was emphasizing on a new job, since we were so well off… I kept my thoughts to myself because as mentioned, my “inlay” (Athana) liked “everything’s hunky-dory”…
***
Well – he was in a good mood and told me a story… every day the muezzin is calling for prayers in the Muslim countries. We had different mosques so we had different muezzins… Where we lived we had the chance to listen to 5 up to 6 muezzins – it depended on the wind’s direction. The normal muezzins are MEN – women “would be allowed” but, it would divert men’s ideas especially during Ramadan when men and women’s thoughts should be purest. However let us return to that SPECIAL case; i.e. that muezzin who called for prayers in the nearest mosque: one of them had a wonderful voice – a young man – really I have to admit – I loved that call! Yet one of them sounded like an old goat in winter (that is how Salah placed it…) yes, my bad, I should not make fun when he called for prayers – right – nobody should make a joke when prayers are to be done… After all it is for God – however his name would be: God, Jehova, Allah, Manitu, Gott (in German)… well – I am sorry, since I sing myself I was one of the worst critics… so I heard out of his voice that he was conceited, proud and JUST NOT BEAUTIFUL because it was not pure; i.e. not with FULL HEART! When I told all that to Salah he finally admitted that the “old goat” was jealous on that young man with his awesome voice. He went that far to kick the younger man out of the mosque. That was then too much. The other ones kicked the old man out of the mosque as well. Yet since the old goat was still responsible for things there, they had to accept him to call for prayers, again… because not everybody attends prayers in the morning (especially not during summer…) well – long story short quote; I heard his “sincerity and devotion” out of his voice… the worst thing was, when all other mosques had finished calling – he started only, I think on purpose – so really all had to listen to his awesome and beautiful voice on purpose! Well vanity and pride combined – what a genius mixture – and still I had met many in “the good old roman-catholic church” times in my little old village – like fashion shows on Sunday – actually “legal and suitable”…
Salah had not finished to praise the old goat’s brilliant characteristics: Ummi’s mom had died. This guy just walked in and took over the whole organization of the funeral – IMAGINE! Salah just came back fm a flight; hearing him screaming in the garden of the family: “that belongs here and that you put there!” etc. Salah grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and said: IF YOU DO NOT GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW, he would cut off his legs where they started growing… The goat was so fresh and countered: “But, your grand mom died and I am fm Gherian too…” (Gherian the village both of Salah’s parents were fm). “Yes precisely, it is MY GRAND MOTHER, not yours and now disappear!” Finally the goat went. His name was actually (translated into English: BILL BUSH) – no – he is not a relative of your ex-president...

CHAPTER 91

Iveenia — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 13:54:34 -0800

We still had nothing for the baby. No bed nothing… I was very upset and tired – very tired. The last time of pregnancy was the worst. Once I had such a heartburn that I was unable to sleep. Well all women had to go through these things I was not the only one… The next day Salah sent me to bed, he said I looked terrible – sure – no sleep all look like that… However Athana did like things and if not I either had diarrhea or I had a heartburn. It was so severe I had the acid in my mouth… Actually I wished for the day she would finally leave… Actually I was craving for tomatoes and for salt . They told me that all women had certain incompatibleness – Amal for example hated Ludfi her husband, wow – that is something… She could not take his smell anymore. When she had her last days of pregnancy she did not even wish to see him anymore… She even was close to kill him… No kidding. She confirmed… all thought I might have an aversion to anyone – LOL – that was such another great superstition… I was not even upset of Susann, my brother’s wife; even so she had treated me so badly. THAT was her karma not mine… Madame in my belly was talking a lot with/to me… She wanted to be massaged daily. She loved it, she then was much more quiet and did not hurt me so much either. Unfortunately I only found out somehow very late… When I had been in Switzerland and went to my wholesale stone shop, she had chosen stones. A watermelon tourmaline and an imperial topaz. I would have NEVER chosen such sparkling stones – yet she did… She also did not like me to be upset. Once I had been talking abt the political “sandbox game” and made myself clear in an aggressive way… Wow – did she hurt me so badly – I had to stop. When I was crying she did not really react badly; yet when I was aggressive – oi – then she was reacting. It was rather interesting – yet to be honest, I did not spend a lot of time thinking abt her interesting ways – not with that belly… well still I had time to… she hated hypocrisy and “energy vampires”, she hated liars, flatterers and pretenders. She loved honest and kind humans.
***
Whenever I wished to show Salah how she moved, she was very quiet. And once when he hugged me – she kicked him. That was awe. For me it was funny, he was very excited. Not in a bad way, but she had kicked him… LOL. However I explained him that this happened to me daily. He still was upset as well that he was unable to attend the birth. WELL – WHEN IN LIBYA - Even Ummi needed a special clearance to be with me. Actually in Libya the whole family would wish to be there, said Salah. Yet how could they manage to feed the whole family? They would need extra hotels for that… Special theatres for relatives? NO, thank you! I hoped Ummi would be there! Yet only the Gods (the half-gods in white) knew – whether Ummi was to stay there or not… Well Libya – i.e. the government hospital had to deliver babies in average 50 per day and up… now all could imagine how fast that went… It was like an assembly line – yes it sounds disrespectful – yet it was more or less that way. We would see and feel.
The body got ready for “delivery”. I had pain like before a menstruation – so it was actually called pseudo-labor. Well the body does many great things „my“ doctor Mustafa M. was not around – he had to attend an operation – his daughter was there. Somehow I was happy to be together with a woman – so we discussed much more different things than I would have with a man… She explained once again how it may happen. And told me only labor which was to come all 5 minutes – then hospital. If the kid was to sign blood not the dark red one when a woman is having during a menstruation but clear red blood then immediately hospital – GREAT – she made me really going fine… Well all first births are tough! Romana had 48 hours of labor! Imagine!
***
Salah had a very bad time. No money – i.e. short of cash… Well one has to go through that! My parents had to, too. Yet their bond became much stronger. So, I hoped for the same with us.
***
Salah had a nice little event with the youngest son of Amal and Ludfi… Mahmoud – he was teething and had his oral phase. So he took all in his mouth to taste and try the texture of things . Salah was watching the news and was nervously beating the devil’s tattoo on the little table in his mother’s salon. Mahmoud grabbed Salah’s little finger and bit in it, with his “only two first teeth”. Salah claimed that this hurt badly. Mahmoud was fast, he had disappeared very quickly because he felt Salah’s wince… That must have been so funny to watch. I wished I had seen it! Well Mufida laughed loudest but Mahmoud taught her a lesson too, he took her hair in his hands and did not let go anymore… WOW – that reminded me of my bro. I was not a nice sis – I was always hitting him when he was a baby, so once he grabbed my hair and never let go of it… Since then – (and obviously because of the remaining of my “wig” in his hands) – I never ever hurt him anymore! We had been best friends ever since! No kidding – till today he is!
Despite of the terror my husband had because of Mahmoud, I loved Mahmoud best of all the kids fm Amal.
***
Salah again: don’t you consider it possible that it is a BOY – not a girl? I knew it was ATHANA finished over and out! Amal and Ummi wanted the kid to look like me – not like Salah – if she looked like Salah – then OMG – that would have been fatal. In addition to that – Ummi said to all of her daughters: if the kid is here – you do not have to come anymore. She only wanted Salah’s baby around her and they should stay in their houses… of course she was joking. Yet her daughters took all of her energies, came to Ummi’s house to eat and drink and take her time. Hardly ever something came back… I felt truly sorry for Ummi. Therefore I did not go there often; i.e. stayed at home. I knew why she had constant trouble with her stomach – her head and also her other energies… As soon as I would be in the position to speak an adequate Libyan – I would tell her in a nice way – that she should not just GIVE her energies so easily. One can protect him/herself! WOW what was I writing here – it was exactly and also my problem as well